Here We Go Again

Hi Amber,

So sorry to hear about the relapse on top of the miscarriage.

I think you really need to take away all the stress you can, and worrying about falling pregnant and what may happen is adding to your stress.

Your health is the number one priority and try an keep in mind you already have one very healthy child. Sure it'd be nice to have another, but sometimes life doesn't pan out that way. I lost my second a week under 5 months and never had another. To get me through it all I focused on the fact I already had a healthy child.

You also need to be aware that if you do have another child you could relapse after birth as well, considering your relapsing after miscarriages. So you need to be prepared for that could happen.

I do hope you get to the bottom of whatever is causing this so you can move forward, as it's hard to move forward when one doesn't have any answers to these sort of things.

As for the MS side and denial, I think most of us have been there where we think we are fine and that the MS has gone away. This is like a double-edged sword, as while it is good not to be thinking or focusing on the MS and getting on with life, it doesn't prepare us for the reality of the next attack or the consequences of that attack.

One has to comes to terms with that this is an incurable disease. There is no cure to date, and there is no medication to stop it from happening. There are some drugs that claim to slow progression down in 23-28% of cases, BUT the main thing people forget is that even if you are one of the lucky ones that fall into this category that you will still have relapses and no-one, not even your neuro can tell you how bad or what the after effects will be like for any of us!

So it is far more sensible, in my view, to plan for the worse case scenario and just hope that never ever happens, so that if it does happen you're not caught with your pants down! Have a 2 & 5 year plan in place.

Think about what would happen if for some reason in the future you end up in a wheelchair temporarily or permantently, or need to use some aide to walk etc; is your house able to accomodate that etc; If it isn't what would you need to do in order to make that happen etc; I know none of these things are pleasant to think about, but until they find a cure we have to think proacively instead of being taken by surprise and having to react.

Until they find a cure we need to always be aware and be prepared as much as we can, whilst getting on with our lives in the best way we can, without MS dictating to us. Be one step ahead of it, instead of it being the enemy taking us by surprise; as that's what it does, it's like a surprise attack when you are least expecting it. But if you have a plan, it may still get you by surprise but you'll be better equipped at the rebuilding process.